i want him to know how much i need him and how much i appreciate him being there. but he’s not here for me enough and even though i appreciate what he is here for i wish he’d do a little more for me. i wish he would understand too, and i think he has it in him to do that. but he doesn’t seem to get it when i say it. i want to tell him i’m sorry for the things he thinks i do wrong, and i am, but i don’t want to bring the things he doesn’t like about me up. i can talk so much easier when i smoke, i can say what i need and want to say so much easier, but theres only a few people who will let me do that. i wish he’d just take the time to message me, or do something with me on the weekend sometimes or just talk to me more, i feel like we hardly talk now. i miss him so much. and i know he’s always busy with his school friends, and i know how close they all are and i’m jealous because i’m losing that with him and i don’t have it with all these other people like he does, how am i suppose to tell him that though, its like saying i have no friends and thats not true, but i dont think he’ll understand what i do mean. and anyway i know i wont say anything to him because i have no guts, not so much that even, but i just cant get the words out. i get in so much shit for it too. im no good with talking. i just cry, and people get pissed at me because they dont understand why im crying and theres all these words that shout in my head and i cant get them out.
i needed a place to vent
and somewhere i could be anonymous and let it out without feeling a burden to someone
and so this is my tumblr she's broken
and somewhere i could be anonymous and let it out without feeling a burden to someone
and so this is my tumblr she's broken
i read something somewhere on tumblr
about a girl who appears fine, but on the inside hurts as much as the girl with scars on her wrist. i don’t believe it.
“I love you not only for what you are, but for who I am when I’m with you”
Theres this boy I know, and I wouldn’t say he loves me. But in a way he does, he loves me enough to be the person who comes to me when he sees I need someone and the person who makes me smile. He’s the person that says I’m better than the things I do. I hope he’s stays like that tomorrow and the day after and forever. He’s the best thing for me.
I thought this was true for a while.
But so many people have left me, so many that I needed, and there’s a few who don’t find the time for me and really don’t need me but I know i need them.
(via loveyourchaos)
